laughing pundit

I have a couple of friends who are big-time punsters. One in particular will throw in a pun in every conversation you have with him. So, I started emailing him puns every couple of days, and he loves it! He will comment about each pun with another pun. He’s using my pun fodder at meetings and at the dinner table. Did I mention that he is a vice president at my place of employment and that he could be using my puns to seal multi-million dollar deals...or simply to get an extra helping of dessert at home? I tried to sell him a subscription to my list of puns for only $19.95 a week, but he didn’t go for it. So, I decided to share some puns with the rest of you free of charge:

The student who got an “A” grade in driver's ed, was known as a Roads Scholar.

Did you hear about the compulsive fisherman? He was really hooked on it.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.

The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Prison walls are never built to scale.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.

She was only a whisky maker but he loved her still.

It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.